Perfectionism

Found this text on the Internet that strangely fits my mindset very accurately when it comes to literally anything I do. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes...

I am a perfectionist towards myself, not to anyone else. If anyone else is flawed with anything, that is perfectly fine. But if I am flawed, make any mistake, or by any other means not meet my own standards for myself, I get extremely sad and embarrassed as well as obsess over getting it right the next time. (If there is a next time. I'm starting to develop a new mindset that there is NEVER a next time and I must ALWAYS get it right the first time. Being at the mercy of other people giving me a second chance isn't exactly a talent for me.) And the text on the upper right corner are literally some of the things that go through my mind while it happens and I can almost go insane from it from how quickly and constantly the thoughts rush through my mind. (Then comes the memories and even visual memories of my past failures.) It's a mess...

Aaaaaand then I have other weird complexes where I feel selfish and uncomfortable whenever the subject is brought up of wanting to feel loved and/or supported (Which is why I hate talking about myself. Although I still tend to do it, I still consciously refrain from it and try to avoid it. The only reason it's ever done is when I'm trying to relate to someone or out of complete habit. Other than that, it's very uncomfortable.), then another one where I start thinking I may not ever be successful and only a failure. Doesn't stop me from trying my hardest and giving things my best shot, but it doesn't change the fact that those thoughts go through my mind at the same time.

If I don't put forth my best effort and display my fullest potential on my one-shot chance, then it is worth nothing. That is basically how I think...